Category: Communication
-
The Need To Be Seen
I’ve written before about how narcissistic it is to communicate. I don’t really believe that anymore (to the extent I ever did), but I think it’s interesting. What’s interesting about it is that there’s a tiny sliver of truth behind it. That sliver is this: all humans have an intense need to be seen and…
-
Why You Must Let People Check Out From Conversations
Sometimes in a conversation, especially a sensitive or heated one, you can tell you’ve hit a brick wall. When you recognize that, it is essential that you allow your conversational partner to check out of the conversation. If you don’t, it’s virtually guaranteed that something far worse than a lack of closure will be the…
-
Saying What You Mean
One of the deepest problems of communication is that we don’t actually mean what we say. Not in the sense of actively trying to convince others of things we don’t believe, commonly called “lying”, but in a more casual way. What I’m pointing at is the indirection of saying something that suggests the real issue…
-
“They’re invariably nice and interesting if you actually give a shit and try”
Please excuse the profanity of the title, but it’s one of those things that’s stated so simply and undeniably by someone else that I’d be a jerk if I changed it solely for the sake of propriety. Jesse Thorn penned the tweet quoted in this title over three years ago, and it still sticks in my…
-
Complaining About Your Loved Ones
Is there anything so common and needlessly corrosive to your personal mental health, and that of your loved ones, as complaining to your coworkers about them? I’m struggling to think of anything. When we take a problem with a person we love—he leaves his socks all around the house, she never cleans up the kitchen…
-
Let’s Talk About Extraterrestrials
I’ve tried this technique a few times and while the results aren’t superb, they’re good enough to share. So to explain: I like to talk about a rather narrow range of topics, and none of them are comfortable conversation topics for most company. It’s lamentable but true that most people don’t eagerly desire to talk…
-
In Praise of Conversations
Charlie Rose, who is among the most respected talk show hosts, has been upset lately by the lack of good conversation in the world. And indeed, if one looks around today, it seems that little earnest conversation takes place. Instead TV “talk” shows–and especially on cable “news” channels–seem have become havens for soundbites and little…