Five Reasons that Unicorns are Better than Penguins

UvPPenguins have been getting a lot of press lately. At least 300 movies about penguins to have come out in the last year, of which Surf’s Up is only the most recent. But do you know how many movies unicorns got? That’s right. Not a single movie about unicorns has been released recently, and this is simply not right. So here they are, the five best reasons reasons to protest this injustice. Five reasons that unicorns are better than penguins.

  1. Penguins cannot fly, unicorns can. This is especially important because, as you may be aware, penguins are birds. This makes the point all too clear, while penguins are busy being deficient birds, unicorns are busy being awesome.
  2. Penguins waddle, unicorns run faster than anything else on the planet. Not only can unicorns totally fly way better than penguin, they also run way way faster. Like, incredibly. Unicorns are so fast that they make penguins look like rocks, stupid slow ugly rocks.
  3. Unicorns have a horn, penguins have flippers. Let’s say that a bar fight broke out, who would you rather have on your side, a unicorn or a penguin? That’s what I though. Not only can a unicorn poke the other guy in the eye, but then you can get a ride from him which would definitely be really cool and awesome and fast.
  4. Penguins lay eggs, unicorns just are. Penguin babies are little wimps. They come in eggs that their parents have to take care of and stuff. Even the daddy penguins. Lame. Unicorns just happen, wherever and whenever they want. If a unicorn wanted to, he could make a clone of himself and suddenly appear behind you. Pretty cool, huh?
  5. Unicorns have magic powers, penguins do not. Does anything more really need to be said?